When we take the idea of building trust on a series of small moments into the world of our relationships, into our Mother & Daughter relationships, you are able to teach your daughter that you can be there for her when she needs you to be. She also learns how to be there for you when you need her too.
Here are some great small moments to start with:
1) Check-in regularly with your daughter. Ask the obvious yet overlooked questions. How am I doing as a mother? What do you like? What do you struggle with? What do you need more of? Less of?
2) Be mindful of your reaction when your daughter shares something with you. How you respond will determine whether or not she continues to turn to you. Emotion is okay. Keeping it about her is even better.
3) Consistently set aside uninterrupted time together. Remember quality beats quantity and simply being around each other isn't enough. Maybe it's phones off for the drive to school or 5 minutes at the end of the day sharing a highlight with each other.
4) Ask your daughter what she needs and then give it to her (within reason of course). We are often confused about what is needed or where her head is at. Best way to find out is to ask.
5) Under-promise so that you can always over-deliver. This can save a lot of hurt and disappointment and good intentions don't always translate well.
Remember to take it one step at a time. One small step at a time.
Trust is without a doubt one of the most foundational aspects of any relationship, including the one with ourselves and our daughters. It is delicate. It requires bravery. It can be humbling. And yet, it is where we must begin.
Love & Trust Fiercely,