If you're anything like I was, you've probably obsessed over making the 'right' decision a time or two. The one that will be the best for others and in turn give the most back to you. But much like I said there is no 'wrong' decision, there is also no 'right' one either.
When we are faced with a decision we have all the options laid out in front of us. The moment that we make a choice, the other options fall away. Everything starts to fall into place to support us in the decision that we've made.
In the event that we were meant to choose differently, that option will meet up with us again in the future, giving us the opportunity to choose it again. It no longer exists in the past where we left it.
This frees us from the 'should've, could've, would've' that we can so easily get consumed by in the quest to make the 'right decision'. It allows us to explore new things and gives us bravery to dance outside of our comfort zone, knowing that if it doesn't work out, we can always choose again. Choose differently.
When I really started to embrace the fact that there was no 'right' choice and that there were several ways that things could play out for me, I started to get more adventurous. I started to make decisions that were more in line with who I wanted to become instead of limited by who I thought I was. I started to play around with possibility more. I started to push myself beyond what was comfortable, and past what was conventional.
And then it hit me. I could take this even further. I had been making decisions and choosing one option based on what was laid out in front of me. But what if I could ask for what I wanted instead of just accepting what was served to me? What if I didn't have to limit myself to only one choice?
I remember the first time I was on a plane and the flight attendant asked me, 'Cookies or pretzels?' and I responded with, 'Yes please.' She smiled and proceeded to give me both. I had stumbled upon something magnificent. Not only did I have delicious cookies AND pretzels to hold me over on my flight, I also realised that I could have it all. That I didn't have to limit myself that way that I had been doing for so long.
I could ask for what I wanted and then actually get it too. If I knew what to ask for, I wasn't limited in what I could receive.
This continued throughout my life.
While living overseas, my beverage of choice would often be water. It was a hot, tropical island and I just couldn't get enough of the stuff. But what I dreamed of most days wasn't just water. It was ice-cold water with a refreshing twist. So I began to ask for it. In every cafe and restaurant I went to I would take what was served to me and ask for ice and lime to make it exactly what I wanted.
Now this isn't intended to be high maintenance or entitled. A dear friend of mine even used to giggle every time I ordered something modified to the way that I wanted it. What it is intended to be is a reminder that we have a choice and have been given a voice to make things happen.
We have gotten so used to accommodating others and ensuring that we are never an inconvenience that we have forgotten that we do not need to apologize for our existence. Or for having a voice and asking for what we want. We do not need to sacrifice our needs and desires for fear of burdening others.
It is our responsibility to ask for what we want and it is the responsibility of others to decide whether or not they can provide it. The flight attendant could have said no. She could have made me choose. And I would have chosen knowing that I had at least advocated for myself and given it a shot.
We do not have delicious cake in front of us so as not to eat it.
So for years I have been enjoying cookies and pretzels on planes. And I am constantly refreshed by ice-cold citrus water.
If you could have what you wanted, would you know what to ask for? Would you believe that you could get it, that you deserve it?
Take a moment to look inside and ask yourself, what's your ice & lime?